Panic and Prayer

Over the last couple of weeks, I have faced many moments of panic. Okay, they’re not really moments so much as hours or days of tension and terror. What if I go through every resource on my list and no one wants this book? What if I can do something better, but no one ever tells me what that is? Should I invest in editing? Should I invest in a consultation? 

These questions and more race through my head for days at a time, often leaving me wanting to curl up in bed, with the sheets over my head, hiding from the world. Just give up, I think. Will this be worth all the effort if I fail to get this book published?

Then, I remember to pray. Lord, please guide me through this process. Give me faith in your plan, whatever that may be. Even if it is not success in the way I define it. And I feel a sense of calm and wonder why I didn’t pray sooner.

But, suddenly, I think, What if Satan’s just giving me a false peace? And panic sets in again.

*Sigh* Maybe I should take up knitting.

Do They Like ME or My Book?

One big no-no when querying agents/publishers/editors is to let them know how much people love your book.  Why?  Because friends and family like you.  Maybe they don't want to hurt your feelings with the truth or they may not know good writing.  So I, of course, wonder if the positive responses I have received are a reflection of how much I am loved or if they really do like the story.  Here are the clues I've put together to lift my self-esteem when I question the honesty of my readers.  (Note:  None of these readers are related to me and two are almost complete strangers.)

1.  One girl read the manuscript through twice.

2.  Another girl saw me carrying a binder and eagerly asked, "Is that book 3?"  (To which I responded, "Nope.  Not until I get a publisher.")

3.  A person completely outside of the intended demographic read through book two in one day.

4.  A boy (again, not the intended demographic) read the manuscript.  Sure, he was out of books to read, but he finished even after getting new books in his preferred genre.

5.  Last week at church, a friend said he'd talked with his sister and she wanted to know if I had any more books that he could bring when he came down to visit.

More people have read the book than the five listed and all have had positive things to say about it.  And only three readers took more than three weeks to finish.  So, when my self-confidence is down, I can look at this list and think, "Maybe it's not just me they like."

"Send"

Wanted to tell everybody who reads these posts (all three of you), that I just hit "send."  The first query letter is off to the Living Word Literary Agency.  Thank you all for your prayers and support.  I'll let you know if I hear anything and I'll have a new post up on Wednesday.

Timelines

I spent four months writing the book.  I spent another four months editing the book.  So should I really be surprised if it takes me four months to create a query letter and proposal?  Preparing the manuscript should be the hard part.  Guess what?  Writing a book is actually the EASY part.  Preparing an attention grabbing query is a whole lot harder.  How am I supposed to condense a 70,000+ manuscript into a concise, entertaining 1,000 words or less?

And I'm not just selling the story.  I have to prove that my book is better than the competition and that I can market myself and the book.  But I have to do all of this in one to three pages, depending on the requirements for each individual publisher or agency.  I guess this is what weeds out the willing-to-work-hard writers from the if-so-and-so-can-do-it-so-can-I writers.

So I am writing summaries and synopses trying to find the best angle.  Then I'm hitting up people who haven't read any of the manuscripts to give their opinions.  Is it interesting?  Confusing?  Make you want to read more?  However, if my timeline is correct, I have another two-and-a-half months before I will be finished.  Whatever it takes, though, because I want to be one of those willing-to-work-hard writers.

Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?

Everyone knows that if you ask, "Does this dress make me look fat?" what you want to hear is, "No, you look great."  This is the same when asking people to read and share their opinions on your book.  You tell them to tell you what they think, but, secretly, you hope they will tell you, "Wow!  That was absolutely amazing!"  Of course, the closest friends, who truly love you, will let you know if that dress does, indeed, make you look fat.

Before I passed out the first copies of my book to friends, acquaintances and total strangers for their opinions, I spent a lot of time in prayer.  Everyday I begged God for all my readers to be honest.  I wanted to make my book the best it could be, and I knew that if everyone simply said, "it's absolutely amazing," I would be missing out on the opportunity for improvement.  And, if this was something I really wanted--and publishing this book is something I really, really, really want--I had to be willing to hear and accept negative comments and then be willing to do something about it.

I was also scared that I might be upset with people for being honest, because no one likes to hear, "yeah, you look fat."  So I begged God to give me the strength to still love people when they're honest.  And the truth is, I didn't cry over one negative comment.  And every single one of them made my book better.  The second person to finish the book--who came as a real surprise--handed it back and said, "I liked it, but the last chapter lacked something."  He was completely right.  In fact, I had felt the same way when I finished it.  It just fell a little flat.  Of course, if he hadn't been willing to say, "this could be better," I would have left it the way it was.  Instead, I spend two days rewriting the chapter and now the ending is much more satisfying.

So, as I prepare my first book proposal, I'm approaching the possibility (okay, the reality) of being rejected with the same attitude.  Lord, please give me the strength to handle not being accepted, to use the criticism to make my book better, and to become a better writer and person because of it.  (And please, please, please let me get published!)